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From Trauma to Transcendence shares the self-destructive side of coping. The immersion into a cataclysmic lifestyle to disconnect from my inner child wasn’t a conscious decision; it was a natural one since my environment was riddled with substance abusers. It was so much easier to cut myself than to face the pain of being abandoned and more natural to run from emotions by doing drugs and drinking. It was effortless to nurture a self-defeating mindset and wallow in self-pity for years. Although it was a one-time molestation, by using and drinking, I continued to be a prisoner of my abuser. In my mind, I was in captivity by recreating scenarios that reaffirmed shame and guilt while getting drunk again and again. I was abusing myself. Ultimately, the act of getting sober was an attempt to finally reconnect and love my inner child, who I hated and drowned out for over two decades.
