This week I turned 40.
I took some time to reflect on entering a new decade of my time here on earth and I want to share with you these insights. I don't want to pretend life is great when I know we all struggle with something behind the smiles on social media. I want to destigmatize talking about our struggles. That's why I started Spiritual Cardiology.
Truthfully, lately, I feel my body changing. I get hot flashes regularly and haven't had a period in months. The knots in my shoulders bother me so I get massages as often as I can. I'm overweight and nursing a broken heart. These are the types of things we don't post in our story. The reality is, life's curveballs don't stop when you do inner work.
Despite the inner work I've done, I still make mistakes and still feel lack at times. I still struggle with my ego-mind. It's part of life. But the beauty about inner work is that I am conscious of my unconscious thoughts and behavior. I am capable of observing it and correcting it immediately. When before, self-loathing and self-criticism were my autopilot and there was no awareness of it because I was fully engulfed in that identity. There is no cure for trauma. It doesn't get erased when you do inner work. But you can make it your ally. I used that negative emotion to guide me and show me the roots of my inner thorns.
I'm far from perfect nor do I strive to be. All I am is courageous.
Courageous enough to ask deep questions that made me confront my deepest insecurities and my most painful memories with the intention of learning about what was eating away at me, to provide compassion to those parts of me I abandoned long ago.
Courageous enough to admit when I'm wrong and give my all to being a better human being.
Courageous enough to mold my life according to God's will and begin speaking my truth.
Courageous enough to navigate life through the setbacks and beauty without numbing myself and become me - who I am today.
Courageous enough to put my dreams out there and risk ridicule and criticism from people who know the old me.
If there's one thing I am sure of, it's the inner work I've done. I made peace with my inner demons - they've become my allies and the truth is sometimes they still need to be tamed but that's my cue because they are calling my attention to go inside of myself. So when the self-critic starts talking, I am aware of it and transform it.
I'm so faithful to this work that I'm writing a book about it and teaching it.
Do I struggle? Yes.
But I move past the struggle with faith, courage, and consciousness because it was God's will for all of us.
It's my soul's mission to teach this to other women who are ready to brave the tumultuous terrain of their inner worlds.
I know many of us struggle behind the smiles. I don't want us to struggle alone. I want to destigmatize inner turmoil. I want our souls to flourish by releasing the pain we stuff deep down in our hearts. I want to usher you toward your personal liberation from your unique story. I want you to accept it but not allow it to dominate you and your emotions.
I want to teach you that suffering is part of the human experience but it doesn't have to be permanent.
Inner peace can be achieved. But it doesn't mean life is perfect and won't throw you curve balls because we're human beings who make mistakes and are surrounded by other humans who do the same.
Inner peace is becoming utterly self-aware with the ability to observe our ego and feel compassion for those who are suffering.
Inner peace is the ability to self-soothe without numbing yourself.
Inner peace is joy at your very core for the simplest of life's pleasures.
Inner peace is the love of self on a spiritual level.
Inner peace is freedom from addictions.
Inner peace is enjoying your own company.
Inner peace is respecting your authenticity and boundaries no matter who disagrees.
Inner peace is being okay with people distancing themselves because your growth is uncomfortable for them.
Inner peace is emotional freedom because you've made peace with the story that broke you.
Inner peace is accepting that God lives in your heart and guides you daily because you've done the work to transcend.
Inner peace is gratitude for your story because it built your resilience.
Inner peace is knowing that your suffering served a purpose.
I am grateful for the pain that finally got my attention and forced me to go inward seeking answers because it changed my life forever. I freed myself from the chains of deep-seated shame, self-loathing, hopelessness, and helplessness.
Underneath all of the pain, the real Valerie was waiting to be born.
You do the inner work, you reap the rewards. Only you can save yourself and with God's help - your rebirth is waiting for you too. This is my 40! Spiritual Cardiology will be starting again in September reserve your spot now.