I am in the driver's seat and in full control of my actions, memory, thoughts, and beliefs. Being sober is like slowing down to take the scenic route of life, to be fully present for every moment, even if its a bitter one. Every day that I choose sobriety, I choose to live in courage. Courage to feel everything. Before, I lived through it numb, avoiding negative emotions, preventing the registration of life's events. There was no processing, only bypassing. I dismissed everything because alcohol made it go away for days, weeks, and years. I realize now I was missing out on life because when you bypass all the bad while numb, you miss out on the beauty of all goodness life has to offer too. Sobriety elevates your senses, it helps you see clearly. You can endure the imperfections of life while utterly savoring the wonderful things life blesses you with. So, to live in courage isn't to live without fear. For me, it's knowing that whatever life throws at me may break me momentarily yet, living with confidence that wonderful things follow all turmoil. I've become a warrior of faith when before I lived in helplessness and hopelessness. I've become confident enough to speak my heart's truth when before I lived to please. I've become an avid self-soother by spiritual means when before I resorted to the comfort of the bottle. Ultimately, I freed myself from the ball'n'chain of addiction and what a wonderful life it's been. It's not perfect but it damn sure is being deliberately created by me and divinely guided by light. I know that if I choose to drink, I choose to suffer and that would be insanity. I choose to be free. I choose an authentic connection to life. Every day I choose not to drink, I choose to love me, I choose to connect to my soul and God's grace.
